I’m tired of people romanticizing overexertion. Exhausted is not the new chic. Coffee (though {sometimes} a delicious necessity) is not a food group, and running on fumes is not admirable. Why do we hold pedestals for sleepless nights, break downs and inner turmoil? Are those things really to aspire to? Self care, balance, the ability to know when your body, mind, and spirit need to take a step back. Those are things we should admire. We have to stop blurring the line between ‘commitment’ and self endangerment, because too many people are burning out before they have a chance to truly shine.
…because love wins.
Tag Archives: Backwards
The 25th year!
I think I’ve evaluated that life is often a walk to find the line between remaining optimistic and leading, and being jaded and hiding away. When I was 18, I was like most 18-year-olds and thought I knew just about everything that there was to know. And I did know enough to live through college, collect some awesome friends, do some jobs I love and decide on a wonderful boyfriend. But I certainly didn’t know everything.
It’s amazing to watch little kids look up to me and other people my age. I remember the first time that I realized they expected me to know everything for them. It’s amazing – and somewhat terrifying. But it’s a wonderful thing how loving someone and leading someone teaches you to make up your mind and be what you know you should be. That was one of the most memorable catalysts for growth in these 7 years.
So now I’m 25. I learned a lot since age 18. Here are 25 of those things.
- Eating healthy isn’t a fad. It decides an awful lot about how you succeed in life.
- You don’t know everything. Neither to do I.
- Apologies are real, and if they work, that’s awesome. But sometimes they don’t, and that’s likely not your fault.
- You never, ever, need to apologize for who you are. What you have done, yes, but who you are – no. Don’t. Ever.
- Mental illnesses suck, and are real, but also don’t decide a person’s character.
- I love Justin Bieber.
- God can take it when you’re angry at Him.
- You really aren’t likely going to know what God is always doing, but eventually you’ll make it through.
- Dating people is fun. Don’t be afraid to do that. Heatbreak heals. You’ll grow a lot.
- You don’t have to be friends with people that you don’t like.
- It’s okay for you to say no and have boundaries.
- LOVE YOURSELF. Do things that make you happy.
- Never stop dancing. Especially when you’re sad.
- Your mom and dad are people. They are different than you, and make mistakes. Not everything is their fault.
- Changing poopy diapers is a life skill everyone should have.
- Roommates found on Craigslist can be character building.
- Listen first. And sometimes just listen, if you have no idea what to say. You don’t always need to know what to say.
- Don’t walk away in the middle of an argument.
- Arguments and conflict are okay – learn how to fight fair and express emotions.
- People who look awesome sometimes make big mistakes. And things are redeemable.
- Driving with the windows down doesn’t get old.
- Smile wide, and often.
- Say what you mean. Try to figure out what you mean.
- God holds me so so so close. And I am so important.
- I am valuable, and should be treated as such. So are you.
So there you go. I have lots of cool things planned for the 25th year of my life. And Justin Bieber released a song for my birthday. What a guy. Have a wonderful day, lovelies!
…because love wins.
Why you should let people go.
A little while ago there was an app called “Who Deleted Me?” It was designed by Anthony Kuske, whose Twitter profile says he’s from the UK and “makes websites and stuff.” This app was one of those things. The purpose of said app was to do just that – tell people who had deleted them on facebook.
Facebook is a weird, strange, awesome, and dumb thing all at once. We get to connect with anyone virtually anywhere around the world. But at the same time, we can also see all kinds of things that are left to our own imagination. Because let’s be honest – no one is as happy as their profile picture all of the time. And thinking they are can ruin your life.
So then what do we do when one of our used-to-be best friends decides they’re done and we’re not friends anymore? And then what happens when you find that out through a crazy little app? Well, if you cared, it probably sucks pretty badly. If you don’t, you’ll probably have an easier time with what I’m about to say.
If someone doesn’t want to love you, or be your friend, or doesn’t build you up even when they are your friend, it’s time to let them go. Yeah, not that easy, right? Well, it sort of is.
Why would you want to be friends with an enemy you have? Would you call up the kid who picked on you in second grade and ask them to be your best friend? No, I certainly don’t think you would. Sorry to say, but when your friend walked away (and in a dramatic way like a facebook delete to prove a point without a real conversation) they entered the same category. Either they didn’t appreciate you, or they think they will have a better life elsewhere.
I’ve had people die in my life, and I’ve had people walk away. When I was younger, both destroyed me. Now, only death hurts me. Because I only keep camp with the people who I really know love me and who will let me love them back. And it’s okay to know that someone walking away isn’t your fault. It’s the walking person’s fault.
So, if they walked away, don’t chase them. And don’t let them come back. If they cared, and they were someone to want around, they never would have left to begin with. You’re worth more than being someone’s option. They chose to have you let them go, so let them go. And don’t apologize for knowing your worth.
Strong is beautiful – you are beautiful. Smile and do something you love. Because you weren’t worth letting go.
…because love wins.
In the Hall of Fame.
Often in life, as a leader of many who is also a young adult, I’ve had a lot of lash back. Not that people didn’t like what I was doing, or didn’t want to walk alongside me, but that people often times didn’t (and don’t) believe what I am saying or that why I am acting is genuine.
But the reality is, even in this broken world, some people are still honest. And some people really do still care about you. And they don’t do things half way. They are loyal. They will come in the middle of the night – probably with your favorite tray of cookies.
And they aren’t here to push you under or away.
In the midst of bombings in Boston and explosions in Texas and entire countries unaware of the outside world because of tyrants, be a sparkle. Be a light. Don’t let people who aren’t genuine make you think that you can’t be either.
It’s that kind of thing that gets you in the hall of fame.
…because love wins.
How to be happy.
1. Enjoy simplicity.
2. Smile as much as possible.
3. Live for today.
4. Love each other.
5. Watch the sunset.
6. Read hundreds of books.
7. Listen to great music.
8. Love yourself.
9. Learn from your mistakes.
10. Understand that no one is perfect.
11. Eat ice cream in summer.
12. Build a snow fort.
13. Act like a kid again.
14. Take nothing for gratnted.
15. Live up to your expectations.
…because love wins.
Meet Kaden Tjossem.
This is Kaden.
You may remember him from a previous blog post. He’s a very old 5 years old this year. I met him a little over a year ago, when he was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma, the same cancer I had 14 years ago. The cancer is a rare form of bone cancer and resulted in us both having Rotationplasty.
He allows me the time to be a part of his life and laughs with me while we play. He fights strong, he’s kind, sweet, and loves his parents. He is a pro video gamer, and has learned to walk as well as me at the age of five. He’s the hero of many, and he is the version of honest that makes the world’s hearts smile.
This Thanksgiving, Kaden is still battling his cancer hard. After it came back, he told me that it was, and that he didn’t want to have to be in the hospital. He wanted to play with his puppy and be a 5 year old. I want that for him too.
You can join in prayer and encouragement of Kaden’s journey by following their new page on facebook: Prayers and Love for Kaden. Kids should not have cancer, and while we work on fixing that, let’s also work on making sure these families facing this atrocity never do it alone.
This holiday season, give your joy and prayers, away.
…because love wins.
*Kaden and I met through an organization near and dear to my heart, Brighter Tomorrows. Feel free to find out more about non-profit here.
Live life like Make-A-Wish.
Some of my good friends are going on their Make-A-Wish trip today. They texted me from their airplane and I could almost hug the joy through the 136 characters on that screen. I wanted to jump up and down for them and scream for happiness and throw rainbows in the air and dance a little too. That’s how exciting this is. And not just because they’re going here:
That’s a Disney Cruise, in case you didn’t know.
Do let me explain.
For those of you who have never heard of Make-A-Wish, it is an organization that grants wishes to children with life threatening or critical illnesses. When the medical world is able to give physical help, Make-A-Wish gives a one time, unforgettable object or event and a major set of smiles. Some children meet Justin Bieber. Some children have their rooms re-designed. And a large majority go to Disney World. Whatever the wish is, it is the choice of the ill child, and it will surely be unlike any experience they have ever had before. They will be treated like royalty, and appropriately given one thing that was seemingly impossible before.
This isn’t the exact one, but you get the idea.
13 years ago in September, I remember my excitement sitting on the airplane for my Make-A-Wish Trip. I had never flown before, just as my wish-kid friend mentioned above has not (Well, now he has, seeing that they should be well landed at this point.) and I remember nearly exploding with excitement about the experience that laid ahead of me. Most importantly though, I remember being so thankful to have my family with me away from a hospital. For just one week, I had everything I had wanted – just to be together.
The thing about cancer or any chronic illness is that it takes a lot from a family. Most specifically – it takes time – in so many ways. I know it seems like those are just cliche words on the screen to you, but I mean that with the depth of my aching heart.
For that reason, these days, I tend to live everything as though it were my greatest wish. Because in reality, every day is. I love airplanes and vacation, but also, anywhere I can be healthy and with my family is a continuation of my Make-A-Wish trip. As my friends will surely tell you, there is no other way to live, and no reason not to.
Simply put, living is a matter of appreciation. Join us! 🙂
…because love wins
*Shanna Decker is a an old soul. Spending nearly two decades personally mentoring families with childhood cancer, she has learned how to turn the most tragic of situations into pure triumph. She is a professional speaker, non-profit co-founder and coordinator, and would love to come present for your event! Learn more about her and contact her on her website.
An ode to my 5 year old battle partner.
I walked down the halls of the children’s hospital carrying a small prosthetic leg just 17 years smaller than mine. Its owner and I have almost everything in common.
We know how to be out of control.
We know pain.
We know joy.
We know what it means to understand how terrible cancer is.
We know why kindness matters.
We know why our stuffed animals are so important.
We know why we tell our moms we love them.
We fight in the same army.
The owner of this leg rode in his wheelchair right next to me. Standing no higher than my hip, he is my battle partner on this open field of colored tiles and IV poles. In a war in which we fight with the best armies the world can offer. Those who arm us with research, chemotherapy, prayer, hope, strength, and willpower to move forward.
In a war in which we fight alongside each other against that cancer within us.
Our battle cry is this, childhood cancer:
Take our legs – we can do it.
Take our hair – we can do it.
Take our sleep – we can do it.
Take our dreams – we can do it.
You can take our everything.
Except our hope.
We will not, ever, at any moment, give up our hope. We guard it within one another, and it simply cannot be reached. Its protection is invincible as we walk hand-in-hand or wheelchair in wheelchair carrying each other’s dreams and wants and favorite video games.
For you fight for my life and I fight for yours, battle partner. You make me smile though tears and I tell you it won’t hurt forever. And there is no force stronger than two deep hearts saying no to that cancer.
But to my battle partner, if there comes a time when we must let go of our hands held so tightly, we will still never be apart. For when in war it doesn’t matter where you are; you are never left behind – and always held in the heart.
…because love wins.
Because Love Wins 