Why you should let people go.


A little while ago there was an app called “Who Deleted Me?” It was designed by Anthony Kuske, whose Twitter profile says he’s from the UK and “makes websites and stuff.” This app was one of those things. The purpose of said app was to do just that – tell people who had deleted them on facebook.

Facebook is a weird, strange, awesome, and dumb thing all at once. We get to connect with anyone virtually anywhere around the world. But at the same time, we can also see all kinds of things that are left to our own imagination. Because let’s be honest – no one is as happy as their profile picture all of the time. And thinking they are can ruin your life.

So then what do we do when one of our used-to-be best friends decides they’re done and we’re not friends anymore? And then what happens when you find that out through a crazy little app? Well, if you cared, it probably sucks pretty badly. If you don’t, you’ll probably have an easier time with what I’m about to say.

If someone doesn’t want to love you, or be your friend, or doesn’t build you up even when they are your friend, it’s time to let them go. Yeah, not that easy, right? Well, it sort of is.

Why would you want to be friends with an enemy you have? Would you call up the kid who picked on you in second grade and ask them to be your best friend? No, I certainly don’t think you would. Sorry to say, but when your friend walked away (and in a dramatic way like a facebook delete to prove a point without a real conversation) they entered the same category. Either they didn’t appreciate you, or they think they will have a better life elsewhere.

I’ve had people die in my life, and I’ve had people walk away. When I was younger, both destroyed me. Now, only death hurts me. Because I only keep camp with the people who I really know love me and who will let me love them back. And it’s okay to know that someone walking away isn’t your fault. It’s the walking person’s fault.

So, if they walked away, don’t chase them. And don’t let them come back. If they cared, and they were someone to want around, they never would have left to begin with. You’re worth more than being someone’s option. They chose to have you let them go, so let them go. And don’t apologize for knowing your worth.

Strong is beautiful – you are beautiful. Smile and do something you love. Because you weren’t worth letting go.

quote

…because love wins.

Advertisements

In the Hall of Fame.


ImageOften in life, as a leader of many who is also a young adult, I’ve had a lot of lash back. Not that people didn’t like what I was doing, or didn’t want to walk alongside me, but that people often times didn’t (and don’t) believe what I am saying or that why I am acting is genuine.

But the reality is, even in this broken world, some people are still honest. And some people really do still care about you. And they don’t do things half way. They are loyal. They will come in the middle of the night – probably with your favorite tray of cookies.

And they aren’t here to push you under or away.

In the midst of bombings in Boston and explosions in Texas and entire countries unaware of the outside world because of tyrants, be a sparkle. Be a light. Don’t let people who aren’t genuine make you think that you can’t be either.

It’s that kind of thing that gets you in the hall of fame.

…because love wins.

How to be happy.


1.      Enjoy simplicity.

2.      Smile as much as possible.

3.      Live for today.

4.      Love each other.

5.      Watch the sunset.

6.      Read hundreds of books.

7.      Listen to great music.

8.      Love yourself.

9.      Learn from your mistakes.

10.  Understand that no one is perfect.

11.  Eat ice cream in summer.

12.  Build a snow fort.

13.  Act like a kid again.

14.  Take nothing for gratnted.

15.  Live up to your expectations.

…because love wins.

Live life like Make-A-Wish.


Some of my good friends are going on their Make-A-Wish trip today. They texted me from their airplane and I could almost hug the joy through the 136 characters on that screen. I wanted to jump up and down for them and scream for happiness and throw rainbows in the air and dance a little too. That’s how exciting this is. And not just because they’re going here:

That’s a Disney Cruise, in case you didn’t know.

Do let me explain.

For those of you who have never heard of Make-A-Wish, it is an organization that grants wishes to children with life threatening or critical illnesses. When the medical world is able to give physical help, Make-A-Wish gives a one time, unforgettable object or event and a major set of smiles. Some children meet Justin Bieber. Some children have their rooms re-designed. And a large majority go to Disney World. Whatever the wish is, it is the choice of the ill child, and it will surely be unlike any experience they have ever had before. They will be treated like royalty, and appropriately given one thing that was seemingly impossible before.

This isn’t the exact one, but you get the idea.

13 years ago in September, I remember my excitement sitting on the airplane for my Make-A-Wish Trip. I had never flown before, just as my wish-kid friend mentioned above has not (Well, now he has, seeing that they should be well landed at this point.) and I remember nearly exploding with excitement about the experience that laid ahead of me. Most importantly though, I remember being so thankful to have my family with me away from a hospital. For just one week, I had everything I had wanted – just to be together.

The thing about cancer or any chronic illness is that it takes a lot from a family. Most specifically – it takes time – in so many ways. I know it seems like those are just cliche words on the screen to you, but I mean that with the depth of my aching heart.

For that reason, these days, I tend to live everything as though it were my greatest wish. Because in reality, every day is. I love airplanes and vacation, but also, anywhere I can be healthy and with my family is a continuation of my Make-A-Wish trip. As my friends will surely tell you, there is no other way to live, and no reason not to.

Simply put, living is a matter of appreciation. Join us! 🙂

…because love wins

*Shanna Decker is a an old soul. Spending nearly two decades personally mentoring families with childhood cancer, she has learned how to turn the most tragic of situations into pure triumph. She is a professional speaker, non-profit co-founder and coordinator, and would love to come present for your event! Learn more about her and contact her on her website.

An ode to my 5 year old battle partner.


I walked down the halls of the children’s hospital carrying a small prosthetic leg just 17 years smaller than mine. Its owner and I have almost everything in common.

We know how to be out of control.
We know pain.
We know joy.
We know what it means to understand how terrible cancer is.
We know why kindness matters.
We know why our stuffed animals are so important.
We know why we tell our moms we love them.

We fight in the same army.

The owner of this leg rode in his wheelchair right next to me. Standing no higher than my hip, he is my battle partner on this open field of colored tiles and IV poles. In a war in which we fight with the best armies the world can offer. Those who arm us with research, chemotherapy, prayer, hope, strength, and willpower to move forward.

In a war in which we fight alongside each other against that cancer within us.

Our battle cry is this, childhood cancer:

Take our legs – we can do it.
Take our hair – we can do it.
Take our sleep – we can do it.
Take our dreams – we can do it.

You can take our everything.

Except our hope.

We will not, ever, at any moment, give up our hope. We guard it within one another, and it simply cannot be reached. Its protection is invincible as we walk hand-in-hand or wheelchair in wheelchair carrying each other’s dreams and wants and favorite video games.

For you fight for my life and I fight for yours, battle partner. You make me smile though tears and I tell you it won’t hurt forever. And there is no force stronger than two deep hearts saying no to that cancer.

But to my battle partner, if there comes a time when we must let go of our hands held so tightly, we will still never be apart. For when in war it doesn’t matter where you are; you are never left behind – and always held in the heart.

…because love wins.

It’s hard to find people who get it.


We were never meant to do childhood cancer alone.

If you or your child were diagnosed with cancer today, would you just want something to read online, or would you want also want a person in real life who can help? I know it’s the latter. Because I’ve been there.

I can help with that.

When a family googles “Childhood Cancer” I want my name to come first, so that they may have someone to talk to who can point them in the direction of a person with the same kind of cancer in the same part of the world. I know well enough people to  make the connections, but I need you to spread the word.

The GOAL for the next three days: Get 5,000 facebook “Likes” here: https://www.facebook.com/ShannaDecker and ONE MILLION Twitter followers at https://twitter.com/Shanna_Decker! But I need your help!

Share share share share the facebook page! And then be sure to ask your friends to share it – it needs to go viral! And, #5000forcancerkids on Twitter. Then link to this story or http://www.twitlonger.com/show/jsk2td. Remember to ask people to RT and spread the word!

You are helping raise awareness. YOU are helping families not have to do this alone. Because it’s easy to find something to read. It’s not as easy to find people who just get it. Who, for that matter, can tell one what to read as well. 🙂

Please do all you can to help us!

…because love wins.

One second of your time to heal a life?


I have a new goal: 5,000 likes on my professional facebook page (https://www.Facebook.com/ShannaDecker), and ONE MILLION Twitter followers so that when families with childhood cancer are looking for healing, they come to someone who has walked this road before them.

A simple image of rotationplasty. Check out videos to see how a prosthetic makes this work!

It’s simple – there are a lot of resources, but not as many people who understand childhood cancer and amputation long term. I have a rotationplasty – my leg is backwards. You can see videos here: http://www.becauselovewins.com/media.php?type=2 I have had chemo, been in a hospital for nearly a year, major surgery, asked all the questions, and watched my best friends die.

And I want one thing: to let those doing this after me know that they are not alone. To point them the right direction. To help them heal.

Please help me reach them. I need 5,000 likes on http://www.Facebook.com/ShannaDecker, one million Twitter followers! You can share it on twitter with #5000forcancerkids! and http://www.twitlonger.com/show/jsk2td.

The aim here is that search engines find me first when families are searching a midst childhood cancer and that I can then save them from finding the wrong resources – give them the right direction right away! The aim is to give them hope. To be their hope.

Won’t you help me? 🙂

…because love wins.

I didn’t run.


I didn’t run first.

You and I both know that we want greatness for our lives. There exists within us all a gnawing that says we have a purpose. Somewhere, behind our hurt, and our bitterness, it’s still there, whispering: “Be alive. Be who you are made to be. Be free.” And when we remember that, we find the want to run. To run faster than we ever have to accomplish what we were set to do. It’s phenomenal, for the most part.

But, it produces some struggle as well. Sometimes it is almost overwhelming to me how badly I want to change the world. How badly I want every single one of you on this planet to know you are not alone. To see all I dream of when I’m staring at the sunset to happen. I know you can relate to some degree. For if you’ve ever dreamed of anything, you probably wish it to happen right now. I know I do.

But real dreams aren’t run after. They are carefully pursued one piece at a time. I know this because three days after my leg was rotated backwards as a seven year old girl, I did not run. No. I did something more important than that. Something that most pass by, but something so important that it deserves to be studied thoroughly.

I stood up.

And for the first time in the months I had been on chemotherapy, I was on my way. For the first time since I was born, I was on a brand new path. For the first time, I realized that running wasn’t nearly as important as having the strength to stand.

So today, remember, we must first stand before we can gain the strength to take the first step. And realize that just standing is a major step on the way to seeing those dreams come true. Be patient. The rest will come and you will learn which step to take next.

…because love wins.

*Shanna Decker is a nationally recognized philanthropist, childhood cancer survivor, amputee, professional fundraiser, non-profit founder, and much more. She speaks world-wide on a variety of topics. To meet her or have her share at your event, contact her through her website. And, have a marvelous day.