Why you should let people go.

A little while ago there was an app called “Who Deleted Me?” It was designed by Anthony Kuske, whose Twitter profile says he’s from the UK and “makes websites and stuff.” This app was one of those things. The purpose of said app was to do just that – tell people who had deleted them on facebook.

Facebook is a weird, strange, awesome, and dumb thing all at once. We get to connect with anyone virtually anywhere around the world. But at the same time, we can also see all kinds of things that are left to our own imagination. Because let’s be honest – no one is as happy as their profile picture all of the time. And thinking they are can ruin your life.

So then what do we do when one of our used-to-be best friends decides they’re done and we’re not friends anymore? And then what happens when you find that out through a crazy little app? Well, if you cared, it probably sucks pretty badly. If you don’t, you’ll probably have an easier time with what I’m about to say.

If someone doesn’t want to love you, or be your friend, or doesn’t build you up even when they are your friend, it’s time to let them go. Yeah, not that easy, right? Well, it sort of is.

Why would you want to be friends with an enemy you have? Would you call up the kid who picked on you in second grade and ask them to be your best friend? No, I certainly don’t think you would. Sorry to say, but when your friend walked away (and in a dramatic way like a facebook delete to prove a point without a real conversation) they entered the same category. Either they didn’t appreciate you, or they think they will have a better life elsewhere.

I’ve had people die in my life, and I’ve had people walk away. When I was younger, both destroyed me. Now, only death hurts me. Because I only keep camp with the people who I really know love me and who will let me love them back. And it’s okay to know that someone walking away isn’t your fault. It’s the walking person’s fault.

So, if they walked away, don’t chase them. And don’t let them come back. If they cared, and they were someone to want around, they never would have left to begin with. You’re worth more than being someone’s option. They chose to have you let them go, so let them go. And don’t apologize for knowing your worth.

Strong is beautiful – you are beautiful. Smile and do something you love. Because you weren’t worth letting go.


…because love wins.

To look back.

I’ve been through enough big things that I’ve learned the value of being able to look back on what was hard. I’ve learned that it always passes, but that the lessons stay. Tonight I was looking at some pictures with my mom. On my 21st birthday I could hardly stay awake in the car on the way to my birthday gathering. I was just so down and fatigued. Just depressed.

She said, “Those are some pretty deep, dark days to look back on.”

Yes, they are. And I’m so happy to be looking back, not being in them.

…because love wins.

I just want to make you happy.

I lived so much of my life trying to make other people happy. But, I’ve learned some stuff about that. Well, most importantly, one thing.

I can’t do it.

No matter how many times I tell you that everything is going to be okay, or that it is okay, or that the pain will go away, or that we don’t have to focus on the pain, or that fear is a lie, or that people won’t always ruin your life, or that dreams do come true, you have to choose to believe it.

And sometimes, that stinks.

It stinks that I can’t get you to believe that everything is going to be okay, or that it is okay, or that the pain will go away, or that we don’t have to focus on the pain, or that fear is a lie, or that people won’t always ruin your life, or that dreams do come true. Because you have to choose to believe it.

I’ve lived my way to knowing these things. When I thought it wouldn’t get better, it always did. When it hurt, it always stopped hurting. When I wanted to make the pain go away, but realized I couldn’t heal it, it healed. I learned that people can’t ruin your life if you don’t let them. And I learned that dreams do come true. But they don’t come true the way you think they do.

It’s not that you have to believe that life will be good to make it good. But I will tell you that if you wanted to enjoy your life, man, you should just try to let go. Or, should just stop trying to hold on. Just one minute at a time. Don’t defend yourself. Just smile. One moment at a time.

I wish I could make you happy. But just like that, all I can do is believe what I say myself, and hope that eventually you’ll be able to make yourself happy. I just want you to know that most of life is just you and you, so be happy to spend time with that person.

I’ll be here loving you.

…because love wins.

“I suffer with depression.”

“It’s the stigma that makes you hold it in and you hide it, because the stigma around depression in our society is very real. Unfortunately we live in a world where if you break your arm, everyone runs to sign your cast. But when you say you have depression, they run away. We can’t procrastinate on something this important.”

This, my friend says it all really well. Please watch – understand depression.

Depression is real. It’s not weak.


…because love wins.