I know the pain of a heart break.


Today, I listened to a local Christian radio station for the better part of ten hours while I worked in the sunshine. As I turned and looked around me, I saw the flat farmland of the upper American Midwest. The sky was blue, not gray with smaug, or smoke from a recent terrorist attack. I heard the neighbors playing in the back yard with their new dog, and there was a kitchen full of food for me to eat whenever I wanted it. I was free to listen to my radio, and I was free to lay on the deck of my family, and I was free to breathe and dream of greater opportunity. Because this is America, and that is the life we are blessed to have. It’s what we take for granted every day.

As the afternoon faded on, the topics on this station ranged from athiests upset about the addition of a cross made of rubble being added to the 911 memorial, holiness and purity in Christian life, and the weather,  to the ever changing American economy. I was reminded again how everyone has an opinion on the matters of Washington. There is always someone to blame, and there’s always someone with no right solution. There are people to argue with one another, and there are citizens who will speak about how they don’t have enough.

Look around us. Wherever you are in America, you have more than enough. I can promise you that.

1 Corinthians 6:20 says that we were bought with a price. That price was the blood of God’s One and only Son, Jesus Christ. He’s the Alpha and Omega. The beginning and the end. He looks at me in my death and calls me into life. He’s my protector. He’s my adversary. He’s my future and my past. He’s my hope, and life, and light in the darkness. He will never leave me without hope. He has given me life, and life abundant, and He has sacrificed, to save me, and to tell me that I am dearly, dearly loved.

And then there’s America. At the discussion of a default of 14 trillion dollars of money that was in truth, stolen from others, I can only stop breathing at what God must see when He looks at this country. I listened to democrats fight republicans, people cling to their money tighter than the morals they threw away years ago, and my heart broke. Because we, as sinful people, have wrecked what was so beautifully given to us. We think that our money is our life, and we think that our lack of ethics and honor for our Father will lead us to the dream life we want.

Most would say it’s unfortunate, (I beg to differ) but at a very young age, I learned the pain of a heart break. I lost a leg. My hair. Days of my life in a hospital. Best friend after best friend after best friend. And it hurt me. But I didn’t pay anything for those things. I didn’t buy any of those things at a price. They were given to me, freely, so they could leave freely. And yet, I was broken hearted over it.

I wonder what God’s heart feels like.

I wonder how He can chase forever such stupid sheep that have left him for such garbage.

How He bears the pain of those He was willing to give all for.

And as my eyes fill with tears, I see that we, as a country, will either fall hard, or we will be taken back to the contentment of His heart, when all the things our debt has padded us with are taken away. It could be hard for a while. They say it could be as bad at the Great Depression. Should we have seen it coming? Yes, absolutely. Are we ready? Maybe not.

But what is God ready for?

To have his children back. So that for a moment, His heart won’t have to shatter over us all.

This is not an economic matter. This is a Jesus matter, in ever single wordly heart.

I’m excited for America’s future. Because as life fails on earth, it will only give way to His children learning life eternal. And that is all that we live for.

Praise the Lord!

…because love wins.

There is beauty in the breakdown.

There are days that appear with the crashing of a train that creeped in like a kitten at their start. They were soft as the sun rose, and as the ground was covered with a glowing light that made all things seem easy to see beautiful. And then, out of nowhere, the sounds get loud, and one finds that they are standing before the rushing of something they cannot grasp. It speeds by and the watcher becomes all too overwhelmed too fast by what was once so easy to grasp. But this too, is fascinating. It’s moving fast, and it’s making so much clamor, that one wishes to see how close they can stand to it, before falling. At the edge of the tracks, they can feel the air, and know the friction with the ground, yet, they do not fall in the midst of the speed. It’s a challenge, as they are pushed back. The tears start to fall and they long for the beauty again. But they know that in these moments, they have not fallen, because they have grown stronger. And this is where the pessimists are divided from the optimists. When they realize that the beauty isn’t always in the simple, quiet things, but also, that there is such beauty in the breakdown.


…because love wins.

We will livestrong.

March 11, 1998: “You have stage four bone cancer.” It all crashed down around us. We begged for the blue sky, and we longed to be able to be home and just sit and admire the grass again. I couldn’t walk. And the pain in my leg left me with nothing to say to anyone that would make any sort of sense. I begged in the depth of my soul for my heart to keep beating. I just wanted breath on my lips. I wanted immediately to do everything that I hadn’t even dreamed of yet. I wanted to run and dance and graduate and get married. I wanted birthday parties and to ride my bike. I wanted to fish and teach people about Jesus, and giggle, and cuddle with my daddy. And I wanted them to take the words back. I wanted the tragedy to go away, and I wanted to return to the life that I had. I promised myself then in the depths of me there, that I would live every day never forgetting how terribly I wanted life that day. I can’t not want life. None of us can’t not want life.

It’s all going to end someday. Please, just live it all now.

The tragedy will teach you, it’s all so much more beautiful than you let yourself know.

…because love wins.

If I could.

If I could take away the pain from you,
If I could teach you everything that would bring life,
If I could hold your heart,
If I could tell you it’s all ok,
If I could free you from the chains,
If I could clear your mind,
If I could show you who you were meant to be,
If I could say no for you,
If I could be your strength,
If I could be your motivation,
If I could look you in the eyes,
If I could say that there’s more,
If I could remind you to remember in your heart,
If I could show you what you live for,
If I could throw it all away for you,
If I could wrap you in love,
If I could make life be all that you see,
you know I would.

But, dear friend, these things I cannot do. For my own humanness would be futile to save you, and I wouldn’t try, for I know there is something greater. I know it’s a struggle, and I know this life throws pain, and you trip over it sometimes. But you have not fallen. And you will not fall. Because there is One greater than me, and One that can do all the things that I only wish I could.

What can I do? Just keep watching the beauty come from a Father holding his dear child. You are so precious. And you are so free.

I’ll walk with you. And we’ll live forever.

Oh the depth of the riches and the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgement and His paths beyond tracing out!

Life is full, in a way we can’t even understand. And it’s all for you.

…because love wins.

It’s because we were made for more.

No car is enough.
No house is pretty enough.
No meal will suffice.
No goal accomplished will create the completeness you want.
Human relationships will not make everything right.

There’s a reason you’re not satisfied with anything here. Because you weren’t made for here. You were made for so, so, so much more. Take heart because eternity is beautiful. Fullness is coming. Be patient, little one. Just keep giving it all away. It’s closer than you think.

…because love wins.


She’s independent and beautiful
Wish I could be like her
She’s got the girls and the boys
So wrapped around her finger
Rumor is she’s some kind of dream
Nobody knows she cries herself to sleep

We are not that different from each other
We just want somebody to discover
Who we really are when we drop our guard
That love has gotta start with you and me

He’s on the top of the social scene
He’s stylish cool and clever
He’s got a cool attitude that screams
He’s got it all together

You’d think he’s addicted to himself
But he wishes he could be someone else

We are not that different from each other
We just want somebody to discover
Who we really are when we drop our guard
That love has gotta start with you and me

We’ve gotta come together
Oh You know you never ever have to be alone
You’ve got a hand to hold

We are not that different from each other
We just want somebody to discover
Who we really are when we drop our guard
That love has gotta start with you and me
We’ve gotta come together


…because love wins.