Your brother’s not here with us. Your mom was buried years ago this day. Your father didn’t tell you he loved you ever in his life. You remember your youngest son’s birthday each fall before this time comes. I still remember when your little precious one had a machine breathe for him. Your dad died before you were old enough to move from his farm. You were supposed to have twins.

All six of us filled a pew in this white church house. We laughed as we entered that there was probably not a baby changing table in the outhouse, as the littlest of us needed a new diaper. My big sister and I sat next to each other as her son bounced up and down in a dance for Jesus that only he knew. We’re older than we used to be; than we were all the years we were the ones bundled up and dancing on a pew. My big brother, here for five years since at that time, he asked my sister to take his hand for the rest of life. Mom and dad watch with the proudest eyes as we sing Silent Night, always a reminder of what we’ve lived, each time we pass a glance to each other. There is no ache in these hearts this night. Grandma and Grandpa are buried outside the doors, and the glow of the red, green, blue stained glass leaves a multitude of peace on the new drifting snow. They’re Home. I had on purple sweat pants and camo boots and we all laughed as the same announcements were made that are each year. There are familiar faces, and the feeling is the same. Overwhelming peace.

Because as I turn my head and look, my breath is taken away.

A precious nine month old with sparkling new eyes.
No cancer.
A family to call my own.
Candles.
Music.
Life.
A Savior.

My entire life is not thanks enough, dear Jesus.

You give eternal rest to a weary world. Emmanuel, You have come. “Tiny heart whose blood will save us.” Oh, thank You for coming to our world. For we need you, every moment. Forever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogWRU29J78I

…because love wins.

You sat on my lap. The smell of baby blankets moved upon me as you bounced your little footy pajama green feets, as we like to call them. The train went around and around and around and around and around and each time we learned to wave goodbye to it. Your bright eyes looked up at me and we said everything we needed to. You listened when I told you you couldn’t touch it, and then I set you down to chase me crawling around your mommy and daddy’s house. You giggled while your cousin ran you up and down the hall that had become a race track. You had corn all over your face from your Christmas meal, and sat at the window captivated by the snow. Your little fingers wrapped around my pointer as your eyes started to drift off. Another day, we lived. Another day, we experienced. Another day, you changed my life. I never knew someone that left such small footsteps could leave such a big imprint.

What a miracle you are, little one, for you’ve reminded us of Love again.

Merry first Christmas, best friend.

…because love wins.

Dare to believe that miracles happen.

…because love wins.

Hi,
I understand you.
Can’t you see?
Why have you made this so complicated?
What are you looking for?
Why must you want to be so empty?
Do you know how empty you are?
Do you know the way you break our hearts?
That love you see isn’t fake, you see.
No? No, you can’t see?
That’s why I pray for you.
You’ve gone.
You’ve come.
But you didn’t stay.
Not long enough to hear what the story was,
that you were to whisper to the world.
No, it’s not about me.
Please, realize even now, I’d lay down my life for you.
Realize now, that we’re not about you.
We can’t start this over.
It’s been years already.
I’m not afraid for me.
I’m not afraid for them.
Will I see you with me forever?
Will your forever be with Him?
You see we sit next to each other.
It’s not because I want to prove anything,
but because love is all I truly know.
So I suppose,
going would be best.
Or maybe you’re to stay.
But listen to what my eyes say.
Look and realize,
you want more than you.
I remember when you thought that I,
that I, understood.
I still do.
And I pray you could too.
Love,
The one who understands the only way to really know, is to let it go.

Father, my heart is only after You.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjp-5O4XrHY&feature=BF&list=FLL1Echj0eOOQ&index=45&shuffle=182

…because love wins.

So long politics it’s time to start being me.
Take the chains off my lips; it’s time to set my tongue free.
Some might just turn their heads but some will raise a fist.
And You told me to stand so I won’t back down from this.
They say there are no absolutes but are they absolutely sure?

In a world that tries to water You down,
where beliefs cannot be spoken too loud,
I’ll stand for Truth.
Where they claim Your way isn’t wide enough,
And they do their best just to cover You up,
I’ll stand for You.

Hello reality it’s time we embrace honesty.
Teach me to speak with truth and love and with humility.
You made a promise that You’re coming back to earth.
So how selfish am I if I don’t go tell the world?
They say just be sincere,
but could they all just be sincerely wrong?

They might remove Your name from money,
but You own it all the same
They kicked You out of school that’s funny,
cause how could You go away?
In a land that’s built upon Your Word,
It’s amazing You’ve been banned.
To think that we control You is absurd,
so for truth I’m here to stand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuGUcbseX4g

…because love wins.

I’m not trying to hide anything. I wear it on my sleeve. I’m not trying to be something I’m not. This is all I’ve got. I’m not trying to reinvent the wheel; just trying to be real. I’m not trying to say: “Follow me.” I’m not the One who leads. I’m not trying to prove anything. It’s all about the change. I hope you stare just long enough to see, the heart that’s beating here inside of me. Beyond all of the things you may think you know, I’m just a kid trying to make it Home. That’s it. No more no less.

Let me introduce myself to you. This is who I am. No more, no less. I am just a man who understands, because of You I’m blessed. No more, no less.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i09zpoSUWDw

…because love wins.

“’cause I don’t want you to know where I am
’cause then you’ll see my heart
In the saddest state it’s ever been.”

Yeah, that’s what you tell me with your eyes. But, the beautiful part about knowing you fully, is that I’ve seen it for a long time, and loved you as you were to start with.

Love is something different than the world would like to think it is most of the time. It really does make all things new. It really is enough. It really does change everything. And it really doesn’t have any rules.

…because love wins.

…because love wins.