Trust.


Words that settle like the grace of a sparkling waterfall when they are meant:

“I trust you.”

There are few statements that will be more prized than these in the depth of any human heart. Beyond all wants and cares, we each simply desire fully to be comfortably knowing love enough to trust and be trusted, so that we may not be walking alone.

They carry so much. On their back are the words, “Beyond all my fears.” In their arms, “Beyond what you don’t know.” Upon their shoulders, “Beyond what you do know.” Painted in their eyes, “I’ll listen and believe you will honor me, always.” Held in their gentle fingers, “I’ll never doubt that your words and actions are in love.” The three small words together mean paragraphs of glances, and breaths, and emotions, and becomings, and failings, and growth, and hope.

They are words when spoken in truth, that can paint the most beautiful of murals upon the face of a shattered and falling city building wall. They turn brokenness into beauty. But as with any mural, trust cannot go without attending to. Each and every day, it must be maintained, with soft brush strokes that remove the filth from the night before, sharing with the canvas that the artist is ever present. It must be checked regularly, treated as prized, and must be valued for its fullness. Each and every piece must be maintained as though it is the greatest work the artist has ever place their feeble hands upon. If not maintained, it will wane. But it’s too precious for that, right? It must be protected and adored. Isn’t it beautiful? Look at how the sun shines upon it.

Slam.
Crack.
Crumble.

The weight of a sledgehammer. For but a moment, someone lost composure, and fell to the frustration within. The pieces fall quickly, and in one swift move, the picture as it once was, lays cracked upon the ground, as the world continues to bustle by without a thought.

Tears fill his eyes as he slowly sets down the heavy hammer, breathing deeply. His gaze leads him to shatter at his core as he watches his hand let go of the thick wooden handle. There he kneels before one of the most prized possession of each of his days. The sun still shines upon the painting of red, orange, green, and blue. But now, what was once whole, is pieces.

His mind begins to race. “Those words. Those words! Had they been shattered by the hands of someone else, I’d have someone else to blame. I could walk away. I could break and fall, and someone else could repaint.” He pauses. “But this isn’t them. This was me, the artist that created the beauty and the chaos. What I held so deeply, can no longer show its beauty.”

The grieving begins, and the he is left with a choice. “Do those words mean to me the colors and forms I once painted, or will I leave them now as they are?  Can I bear to see shattered what once brought light to my life?”

But even as it’s broken, he cannot forget the wholeness. This was once beauty, and it’s depth was thick. Can he leave it? It’ll take so long to rebuild. But maybe if he takes the time, the words won’t look the same, but instead will be made new, with even more beauty. How much more precious and valued they can be. He won’t have the energy to do it all now, but there’s always hope to be seen, if but by one brush stroke at a time.

Trust: (n) assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.

Once it is painted, it will never not be prized. In this world of broken hearts, each only wants to believe it’s true. If the mural is painted, please, sit and adore. Pay close attention to detail, and adore it beautifully; never let it scar. Let the sun shine upon it, and the world smile with you. But if you choose one day to break it, and find then that it’s a mistake, fear not, for you once painted it, and if you love enough, the time to fix it, you’ll take.

It’s about what is painted by love; not about you.

…because love wins.

I didn’t even know your name.


It’s amazing to think that there was a day in which I didn’t know your name.

It’s amazing to think that there’s just something to the way we turn from strangers to realized family in sometimes no more than a day. A conversation here, and a night of laughter there, and all of a sudden, you’ve got a place in my heart that’s always near. We’re not a lot alike, yet we’re all the same at that. We’ve got our frailties and failures and strengths and hopes and pasts. You’ve seen me cry and watched me be tired, and you’ve hugged me, and we’ve turned homework in down to the wire. We’ve gone on walks and had very long talks, and listened to the rain and new bands and drums when they clang. You’ve laughed with me and cared to learn my name, what makes me tick, and my everything that is my dreams. You’ve wanted to be next to me, have let me forgive you as much as you forgive me, and let Divineness come to humanity each day that you called. You weren’t expected even though our God knows us perfectly, and I am surprised and smile every time I think of you and me. I’d call you when I wanted to smile. I’d call you when I needed to cry. You’d answer the phone, and just listen and chat for a while. You’d tell me about your heart and make me laugh with something that you’d call art. And it’s been letters and emails and facebook messages and car rides, and lake walks, and camp hills, and sledding trips, and nights in and nights out, and all the things inbetween. And I’ve loved every moment, you see, because I love you, and you love me. I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d never choose to leave.

When people see our lives I know they marvel, not because of what we’ve done.

But because they can see that you’re family today, even though there have been days before when I didn’t even know your name.

I love you.

…because love wins.

Thanks Mr. Lewis.


“Are not lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for?” -C.S. Lewis

Yes, yes, they are.

…because love wins.

The words.


The words.
Tossed about like the wind.
Like the chaff that flips lightly into the summer breeze.
I squint my eyes to hear as they float off.
What is that you say?
I cannot hear you for the sun I see over there is too bright.
I can, though, see your eyes, light.
And they tell me that those words are gone.
That they float off as the momentary part of this wave that they are.
But don’t you know?
Didn’t you hear?
That as they float off, they remain?
Don’t you remember that your tongue is a sword?
That your joy isn’t what those syllables say.
That your heartache doesn’t matter if it’s just consonants and vowels.
That those words cut the wind and moved it, and gave hope.
And threw that away all at the same time?
You don’t understand what they whispered when you screamed.
You don’t understand the truth that wafts past us all.
Think before you speak, because in the wind they float.
In the wind they remind.
And in the wind, they move the air that holds me and we breathe.
Forever until the end of this place.

Words.
Small.
Yet great.
If only action followed in their
place.

Let us paint rainbows where there’s been rain. Don’t again spin a hurricane in the breeze. Yet be the sound of butterflies and the actions of life and the falling snow of sentences and paragraphs and smiles and laughs. So then you may stand in something and not chase the wind, and see with me the brightness of the pages filled with memories that don’t run and leave and fall all over the place.

Shhh, dear one. Listen. Do you hear that?

He said He would come back in three days. And the wind didn’t hold such Truth, for it remained on my rock. Thrice has passed, and actions followed and didn’t fade like the autumn grass.

Someday you shall understand that. And stop taking it all for granted.

Someday, we shall understand it all.

…because love wins.

Not Here.


Stop.
Listen.
Do you hear that?
It’s a heart beat.
Created the day in which,
He,
Your Abba,
thought you into being.
He breathed life within you,
chose the color of your eyes,
dreamt with you of all you’d do,
and life as it would be,
a surprise.
He was already seated with you,
on the throne,
and in the valley.
He knew each tear,
and knew your life’s balance.
He anticipated the silence,
and when you’d need a hug.
He knew he’d never say:
“No, right now,
you’re too much.”
He’s been patient.
Humble.
Quiet.
Roaring like a lion.
Walking in the sun,
dancing in the rain,
and with you, giving a smile.
He would never say He’d leave,
for He never has.
Because He’ll always stop with you,
and listen,
and forever hold your hand.

Remember now, there’s always you and Him. Remember, from where you’ve come.

As we sit here and overlook this all, You smile with me, and dream with me, and gaze upon each thing; big and small. We fall in love and are best friends, and all fear is gone, and all hurt finds itself in mend. You know the grains of sand, and the hairs on my head, and you whisper to me secrets of life, and conquering of death. You aren’t like the rest, and you don’t give as the world gives. You remind me that love covers a multitude, and there will actually, really, one day, be nothing but bliss. So for now, You breathe with me, in and out and in and out, and tell me that You know. Know that I wasn’t created for this world, but that while here, standing on You, You’ll let glory shine, and never, ever, will You let go.

…because love wins.

Halfway.


“Talk is cheap. Give me a word that you can keep.”

…because love wins.

Psalm 86.


Hear, O Lord, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.
You are my God; save your servant
who trusts in you.
Have mercy on me, O Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
Bring joy to your servent,
for to you, O Lord,
I lift up my soul.
You are forgiving and good, O Lord,
abouding in love to all who call to
you.
Hear my prayer, O Lord;
listen to my cry for mercy.
In the day of my trouble I will call to
you,
for you will answer me.

Among the gods there is none like
you, O Lord;
no deeds can compare with yours.
All the nations you have made
will come and worship before you,
O Lord;
they will bring glory to your name.
For you are great and do marvelous
deeds;
you alone are God.

Teach me your way, O Lord,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
I will praise you, O Lord my God, with
all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.
For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the
depths of grave.

The arrogant are attacking me, O God;
a band of ruthless men seeks my
life-
men without regard for you.
But you, O Lord, are compassionate
and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love
and faithfulness.
Turn to me and have mercy on me;
grant your strength to your servant
and save the son of your
maidservant.
Give me a sign of your goodness,
that my enemies may see it and be
put to shame,
for you, O Lord, have helped me and
comforted me.

…because love wins.

Apathy.


“I have a very strong feeling that the opposite of love is not hate; it’s apathy – just not caring at all.”

Jesus never doesn’t care.

…because love wins.