A wordless night.

ImageI’m sitting on my couch eating Cheez-Its. It’s quite glamorous. It’s quite perfect. A water bottle. This laptop. The air has a perfect quality about it. In this place, I am content. I am in the silence, and with my thoughts. And there’s almost a tangible peace about the way I’m in the middle of life. The day isn’t over but the past is gone. And the future is ahead. There are a lot of words swimming through my mind that can’t really come out as English. They’re the parts of our souls that are silent on the outside but sparkle, scream, and come to life inside of us. The ones that exist when we look into a newborn baby’s eyes, or when we realize we’re grown enough to take care of our parents. 

My mind fades to the agonies of this world. The cancer, and the fear, and the learning disabilities. The government, the car accidents, the world that most see. The hugs that end too soon and the pain of deep grief. And I sit and think of what these people think they cannot be. 

I know that agony. I know the pain. I live in the same world as you. There’s nothing remarkably special about me, other than that I have hope. People sometimes look at my life and think I’m faking this joy. Or that it’s magic that I got here. That I dance around and sing and introduce myself to new people because I want something for myself. But that’s not it at all. 

I have Jesus. it’s Jesus that sits with me, makes me content, picks me up when I’m throwing up from chemo or when my best friend just died. It’s Jesus who teaches me to love and holds my heart when someone in my life slams closed the door. I’ve been with children gasping for air as they die of cancer. I’ve watched countless people be divorced and their children run to alcohol to solve their problems. And it breaks my heart. It absolutely does. But Jesus is the reason I can run to those broken hearts and be there. 

If you don’t know what the heck is going on in your life, or if you’re wondering if cable is really all there is, or you haven’t stopped to ask any questions about what life is, there’s a serious solution. His name is Jesus. He died for you, and you don’t have to come with any words. He is love, and He knows you. And He literally has been waiting on the front porch step for so long for you to come home. And He’s the answer. 

I felt the need to write this tonight. So I’m guessing it’s for you to know that there is hope. And that there is a way to live a life filled with joy a midst this crazy, sick, messed up world. I’m not naive, I know what life is about. Let yourself be weak and send me a message. I want to help you actually enjoy your life. 

I’m here for you and Jesus loves you.

…because love wins.

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