Astonishing.


I cannot even grasp how beautifully blessed I am.

The Christmas music played lightly behind us. There were blocks spread all over the living room, and the dishes left in the kitchen. You just laughed with me covered in Johnson and Johnson, and were wrapped in that plush blue towel. We were all laughing, so you started to laugh too. (Don’t ever grow up, please.) We got excited when you started to really learn how to crawl. We were ecstatic, in fact. Your dad helped you for a second, and you went back to doing it how you knew how to do it, less effectively, because you didn’t understand the new, better way. I smiled, at how we’re all like you. How our Father and family rejoice over us trying, and we make mistakes, and fail to learn, yet, they do nothing but rejoice. It’s all so simple. Try. Be loved. Make mistakes. Be loved. Dream. Be loved. Laugh. Cry. Be confused. Be loved.

When they come to my funeral, I don’t want them to think of the grand things. Nothing about the stages, and nothing about the videos, or radio spots. Nothing about the articles, and the writings. Speak to them. Let them know that it was nothing more than the simple things. Let them know that it’s never been about anything more than the smallest of things. Let them know that the simple things are in fact, the most astonishing. Let them be astonished. Not by me, but by the small things. Let them know that they can come as they are. And let them know that there, they are loved.

Rejoice with them while they learn to crawl.

You’re astonishing. Grace is everywhere. With my life, I thank You.

…because love wins.

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