Wait, what?


I’m speaking at the National Youth Gathering. What?

You mean, this girl, from a little town, who laughs with her friends at night? The one that hardly gets it together, and doesn’t even try to figure it out anymore? You mean, the one that sells lawnmowers, and thinks prosthetics are funny? The one that rollerblades  not even that well, and bikes to clear her head? Who sits in the solarium and wrestles with Business Law? The one that can hardly get up some mornings, but who thinks everything is just great as she moves though the day? The one that gets frustrated, and breaks, and messes up? The one that had cancer when she was seven?

Wait. I had cancer. I had cancer, and I’m here. Huh.

As I sit here and think about what I’ll feel like walking back to the place that changed my entire life, I can’t choose an emotion. What will I say? What’s the best way? What do I elaborate upon deeply? Will they even want to listen? How do I get out of God’s way, and be obedient? How, just exactly is this happening?

Then, I remember. As I sat as a 16 year old, depressed and never wanting to take another step, I remembered that my life had been saved. That there had been plans made for my life. And that those, were in love. That God would not have me here, unless He wanted something greater from my life. He wouldn’t use one of His children improperly. It’s a simple reminder. Simple message. But enough today, to remind me that three years ago almost to the day, I prayed to go back and speak at that place.

And, my Jesus answers.

To God be the glory.

…because love wins.

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